Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
