Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize