Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize