This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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