I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize