Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize