my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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