I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
