Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
