guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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