It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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