hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
