cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize