MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
