I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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