...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
