Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
