At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
