He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
That accounts for only three of the penises
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
