I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
