i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
