She is in my trunk
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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