I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize