maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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