im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
