Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
