What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize