38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize