So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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