Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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