when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize