How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
