Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize