Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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