I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
