did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
