I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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