You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize