sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
