i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
