I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
