And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
