I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
