She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
