you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
