There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
