im drinking this country out of the recession.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
