maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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