I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
