It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize