So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
