Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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