aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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