I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
