I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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