seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
