so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
