I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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