those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
im holly from the hills drunk
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
