Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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