therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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